An Open Letter To Every Teenage Girl by Femi Owolabi

An open letter to the girl in her teens by Femi Owolabi Hello dear, I know you would have read or heard something like this, since you assumed this phase of your life. If you will oblige me, however, I wanna share with you, the story of Bisola, my friend who should be twenty this November. Bisola and I met early this year in my neighborhood. You see, that evening, I was sitting, with a few friends, in front of my house when Bisola walked past. Her beauty is mesmeric that our eyes followed her till she walked off the street. Days later, Bisola and I already got talking. Mind me not, I am skilled in making new friends that quick. Especially when the girl is beautiful, just like you, you know? Bisola is the second of the three children of her parents. Of course, she wouldn’t agree to my friendship proposal on time, and when we eventually got talking, she told me of how she despises the guys in the neighborhood; those guys who just wanna woo every girl they see walk past. “I will not allow any guy destroy my future o,” Bisola told me. Let me confess, at this initial stage of our friendship, my affection was driven by pure lust. Forgive me, men could just be like that, sometimes. Bisola was careful. She slapped off my hand when it rested too much on her shoulder, that evening I walked her down the street. She repelled every flirtatious gaze I cast at her. She came looking for me one day, sometime around mid-August, and was told I was inside my room. My door was pointed, and she came knocking. I asked her to come in, but she was skeptical and asked I come out instead. When I opened the door and she peeped into my room, she saw my shelf and marveled. She was attracted by the books, obviously, and willingly, she stepped into the room. “Are you the only one reading all these plenty books?” she asked me, as she knelt by the shelf looking through the titles. Bisola sat for JAMB this year but she scored low and didn’t meet the cut-off for a university admission. She was preparing to re-sit for the examination. I helped her search through the shelf for an old Economics textbook because Eco, as she fondly called it, was her preferred course of study. The gift of that book really meant a lot to her, and she hugged me, for the first time. That moment when our hearts got enclosed in a hug, I could feel she’s troubled. “I have not seen my period,” she let out a sigh, looking into my eyes. At first, I didn’t know what to say. “You had an unprotected sex with your boyfriend?” I laced this question with smiles, hoping she would take it as some witty asides. “How could you relate such to me?” she was furious, and she left. And for days, she didn’t answer my calls. I got angry with myself, you know. I called a friend who is a doctor, asking her what could be the reason why a month would go and a girl won’t have her period. I told my friend to eschew any pregnancy thoughts, because the girl in question never indulged in sex. My friend used some medical jargon and then suggested some medicines. The next time I saw Bisola in the neighborhood, I ran after her, to show her the names of the medicines that the doctor has recommended. I wrote the medicines’ names on a sheet of paper I got from my chest-pocket, and I took her palm and put the paper in it. She was reluctant in receiving it. “Femi, can I trust you with something?” she asked, in a whispering tone. I told her to go ahead. “I had a D & C abortion in June,” she said. Looking askance at her, I didn’t know what to respond. “We had sex, my then boyfriend and I. I discovered the pregnancy in June and I had to quickly get rid of it,” she continued. Bisola is this smart girl, but I began to see her naivety, especially when she started telling me about the boyfriend whom she now hated. It was an irony; her naivety juxtaposed her seeming smartness. “You will be fine,” I calmed her, and I furthered with my enquiries. I was then told that in the cases of some D & C abortions, it may take about three months before the patient gets her period. I called Bisola and I told her to worry not, for her period will come at the expiration of three months that she had the abortion. We both started counting down to September 4th when the three months would elapse. I was out of town when Bisola called me, that it was the tenth day of September and no traces of her period. I, too, got overwhelmed with worries. “Let me go back to where I had the D & C in June and asked why this,” she suggested, and I agreed with her. She left her Lagos home for somewhere in Ibadan, without telling anyone what she was up to, except me. She consistently begged me not to reveal this to anyone, even when the worries seemed bigger than what we two can handle. The next day, she called me. “I have just been told that the D & C I had in June only took one baby of the two that was inside of me, and this one might have been growing” she said. I was shocked! I didn’t know how possible this could have been. “So, what do we do now?” I asked her. I could feel my voice shivering, because of how my heart palpitated. “Get rid of it!” she screamed. This time, it wouldn’t be through a D & C as she has been assured. She asked if I could raise her some money because she has been billed another N15, 000. A second abortion in a short interval-- of months? I couldn’t just take this. “Let’s leave this baby, my darling,” I begged. She was quick to anger you know. “Just say you can’t give me money. I should leave the baby? You, can you marry an after-one?” she said and she terminated the call. I tried to reach her again, and she wouldn’t pick my calls. Later in the week, she called me. It was not good news. The one of the twin babies has been confirmed lifeless. There was no other option than to bring out the lifeless thing from her womb. Few days after the operation, I spoke with her over the phone and I could barely hear her. “I have been bleeding profusely,” she said in a faint voice. “Femi, I feel so weak. Pads can’t even hold this blood. I’ve been using towels,” she added. I was already in tears, you know. I shared a bit of this on Facebook and many friends suggested I ensure her parents know about this. I had to open it up to one of her uncles in the neighborhood whom I always argue politics with. He brought in the parents and they set in immediately. Last Thursday when I called her line, her dad picked. “She is sleeping,” he told me. He thanked me for always checking on her. “When she’s up, I will ask that she returns your call,” he said. On Monday night, 28th of September, 2015, my phone rang as I stepped into my room. “Bisola is dead,” the caller said. “She died this morning at the University College Hospital in Ibadan,” he added. Oh yes, I laughed. That would mark the beginning of the mental illness that held me for hours. I became sicker. I became weaker. A part of me died with Bisola. The memories of that young girl who knelt by my shelf-- asking for an Economics textbook-- haunt me. Why am I writing to you? You see my dear, I discovered that Bisola feared being stigmatized as an after-one. Just like you, she wanna go to the university, graduate and marry her lover. But things went wrong, and she wanted to return to her normal self. I know you have a boyfriend. I had a girlfriend, too, when I was eighteen, and oh, we did crazy stuffs. I know you guys really wanna be all over each other and have sex. I write to beg that you be careful, okay? I know your approach to life could be refreshingly naïve. See, many boys would wanna play on this. You have to be smarter, okay? I wish I could explain better. And in the case you eventually get pregnant, sweetheart, don’t rush to abort it, please. Call your mum and dad, and tell them. Don’t go through a D & C alone. My parents, conservative Christians, won’t approve of abortion. I want to believe yours, too, won’t. It is your life that matters and not what people would call you; after-one or whatever. You will be amazed at how people will stand strong for you, the after-one girl. Please, take these things seriously and stay alive to enjoy that future! I care about you, always. Femi Owolabi, 1:15AM 30/09/2015. Onipanu, Lagos, Nigeria PS: You can re-share and re-blog this, and get it to the girls who would need it.

Use The Right Weapon!

Spiritual Armor for Spiritual War For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. – Ephesians 6:12 Unfortunately most of us don’t know the first thing about fighting the kind of war this scripture refers to. For, as Ephesians 6:10-12 says, it’s not a battle of flesh and blood, but of the spirit. Most believers are so earthly minded (or carnally minded) that they never even realize where the enemy’s attacks are actually coming from. They blame circumstances and people, and they waste their energy fighting natural conditions instead of supernatural causes. We need to wake up to the warfare that’s going on in the heavenly realm! We can get a glimpse of it in Daniel 10:12-20. There, we find that Daniel had been fasting and praying for 21 days, awaiting a word from the Lord. Then an angel appeared to him with the answer. What took him so long? He was fighting the enemy in the heavens. That confuses some people. They say, “Devils fighting in heaven? I thought God reigned in heaven!” What they don’t understand is that the Bible teaches there are three different areas called heaven: 1. The heaven where God resides 2. The stellar heavens (what we call “outer space”) 3. The heavens around this earth (the atmosphere surrounding this planet) This last heaven is where spiritual war takes place. (That’s why Ephesians 2:2 calls Satan “the prince of the power of the air.”) “The air” is where wicked spirits operate. From there, they attempt to rule the nations to which they’ve been assigned. And rule them they will unless the prayers of God’s people keep them from it. God has an army marching in this land. If we band together, we can prevent the wickedness in high places from ruling our nation. The time has come for us, as believers, to pray as believers. So, put on your full armor and take your place in the ranks of the faithful in interc

It's No Burden!

It's No Burden !


The [true] love of God is this: that we do His commands [keep His ordinances and are mindful of His precepts and teaching]. And these orders of His are not irksome (burdensome, oppressive, or grievous). – 1 John 5:3, The Amplified Bible Do you know why the Word of God and the orders God gives to you in your spirit are not burdensome or oppressive? Because everything He tells you is for your good and for your victory! God knows what it takes to live in victory in this present evil world. In fact, He’s the only One who knows. The people of this world cannot tell you how to live victoriously. They don’t know how. But God does! He can make things work, even in the middle of darkness, and if we’ll follow His instructions, commands and precepts from His Word, we can, too! Let me give you an example. One commandment that God gave to us is to love one another and forgive one another as He has forgiven us. This command is not grievous because it’s the key to our freedom. If you can walk in the love that’s been shed abroad in your heart, you’ll have joy every day. But if you don’t walk in this commandment of love, someone will get your joy before lunch! God knows that. So, He made a command of love and forgiveness because love works! Without love, there won’t be any joy, and the joy of the Lord is our strength. Don’t resent God’s teachings. Don’t consider His ways a burden to your lifestyle. Rejoice over them. Take them gladly by the hand and let them lead you all the way to victory!

YOU'VE GOT A POWERFUL MIND!

Book Excerpt
 Dear Reader, we must understand crystal clear that the things we do on daily basis do not just happen, they are Thought-Borne! If we cannot think them, it's practically impossible for us to doing them. The mind is the most powerful instrument ever of human creation. It's like a computer, what it takes in, is what it gives out! Every man is made or unmade by himself; in the armory of his thought, he forges the weapons with which he destroys himself. In his mind also, he fashions the tools with which he builds himself unto perfection. Our daily actions emanate from the processed thoughts from within us (our minds) which either brings us joy or a sense of guilt or regret as the case may be. What this means is that we are not permitted to do or experience whatever thoughts we have not processed in our mind. By the abuse and wrong application of thought, everyman descends below the level of a beast. Between these two extremes can be found all manner of character and guess what? Man is their maker and master. Friend, our mind-generated thoughts are powerful! The more reason we have to care about what goes on in our minds either as thoughts or believes. If you have ever accomplished or achieved something great thing in life, it is simply because you have engaged your mind to the level of bringing into fulfillment, that which you have desired. This fact is evident all around you today. Talking about events, great accomplishments, educational qualifications, musical albums, written books, high-rise buildings, sophisticated automobiles, smart mobile phones, the beautiful environments and what have you, the pleasant ones and the unpleasant. Virtually everything we see around us today is all thought-borne. But, the good news is that you can choose to accommodate only pure, creative and positive thoughts in your mind that will culminate only in joyful accomplishments and not otherwise. There is no joy in every impure thought; rather regret and sorrow are its birth results. Thus, we all have a lifetime responsibility to abort every impure thought at its slightest introduction into our minds well enough, to bringing about only pleasant actions and wonderful accomplishments in our lives. The mind is more than capable to bring about anything you can think of. So long your mind can conceive it, it will deliver it! Therefore, there's no limit to what man can achieve here on earth with his mind, except the limit he places on himself.

Welcome To SharingWithMartins'Blog SWMB™: UNDERSTANDING YOUR MIND...

Welcome To SharingWithMartins'Blog SWMB™: UNDERSTANDING YOUR MIND...

UNDERSTANDING YOUR MIND...

Your Greatest Asset!

Book Excerpt==> "Exploring The Wonders Of Human Mind" By Sorinola O. Martins

The Human mind can be defined as a mans seat of feelings or thoughts; it is the intelligent faculty of a man. Without the mind, man is never a complete being. This is what distinguishes man from animals because the human mind has the ability to think and reason. When you see someone who has lost his mind, you need not to be told that he has lost his life already. It doesnt matter whether he is still breathing. When a man becomes mentally grounded, he automatically becomes valueless. Because it is the mind that gives worth to life. By nature, the human mind right from the onset has been designed by the Creator Himself to go get accomplished whatsoever it can conceive. Thus, discretion is advised! Worthy of note is the fact that, it is the use to which a man put his mind that makes the world to mind him. Every man is where he is today by the level at which he has engaged his mind. As an Agricultural Economist by discipline, I can say that a man's mind can be likened to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild; but whether or not it is cultivated, it must and will bring forth something. If no useful seeds are put into it, then the gardener must be ready to accommodate an abundance of useless weeds that will fall therein, and produce after their kind. Man's mind is the root for all his accomplishments in life. As a being of Power, Intelligence, and Love and the lord of his own thoughts, man holds the key to every situation of his life and contains within himself that transforming and procreative agency of his mind by which he makes himself what he wills. It is only by much searching and mining are gold and diamonds obtained. Man can find every truth that is connected to his being if only he will dig deep into the mine of his mind, watch, control and alter his thoughts, tracing their effects upon himself, upon others, and upon his life and circumstances, linking cause and effect by patient practice and observation, and using his every experience as a means of obtaining that knowledge of himself which is Understanding, Wisdom, and Power.

CRAVE A CAREER SHIFT?

Welcome To SharingWithMartins'Blog SWMB™: YOUR WATER & YOUR WINE!

Welcome To SharingWithMartins'Blog SWMB™: YOUR WATER & YOUR WINE!: PUTTING WATER IN THE POT AS COMMANDED BY JESUS WILL ALWAYS BRING THE WINE YOU & I DESIRE. Your Obedience and my obedience to always pu...

YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME!

Who forces time is pushed back by time; who yields to time finds time on his side. There is only one time that is important - NOW! It is the most important time because it is the only time that we have any power. If you love life, don't waste time, for time is what life is made up of. Each day comes with 86,400 seconds. Tick Tock.... Time is ticking Do have a blessed and favoured week!

EVERY MILLI-SECOND COUNTS!

What has been your greatest achievement this month? This may sound like a query, yes, but in the context of success and purposeful living, it is called evaluation. Any life devoid of evaluation will soon be void of value. Evaluate yourself by the minute, the hour, the day, the week. The months ahead, and ultimately the entire year, are at the mercy of the little things you do. Remember, success is a summation of small efforts, efforts in the right direction. A failure is good at doing nothing, while a success gets better at doing small things till they become great things. Don't forget that a whole year of 12 months, 52.177 weeks, 365.242 days, 8765.812 hours, 525948.766 minutes began with just 1 second. Please mind what you do with that one second, as “A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough.” -Galatians 5:9 NIV Evaluate yourself today, great achievement is a compound of little things. What have you achieved so far? May you be truly blessed! Have a fruitful week and month ahead.

THE POWER OF OBEDIENCE!

PUTTING WATER IN THE POT AS COMMANDED BY JESUS WILL ALWAYS BRING THE WINE YOU & I DESIRE.

Your Obedience and my obedience to always putting 'WATER' in the pot as instructed by Jesus in John Chapter Two Verse Seven (John 2:7), will always bring the 'WINE' that You and I Desire. Why? As narrated in John Chapter Two (John 2), the marriage in Cana of Galilee, where Mary, Jesus, and His Disciples were invited and the Hosts ran out of wine, Mary, the Mother of Jesus interceded, saying to Jesus..." They have no wine"...knowing fully well what Jesus is Capable of doing. Yet, Jesus said, "Woman, what have I to do with thee? Mine hour is not yet come...( John2:4). But what did Mary do? She told the caterers at the wedding- "See, whatever He tells you to do, Just do it!" ( John 2:5) Paraphrased. Then Jesus asked them to fill the water pots with water, and they filled it to the brim* Well, the caterers could have said, "Didn't this man hear that it is wine we are looking for, how come He is asking us to fill the pots with water? Yet, they refused to rationalize the instruction Jesus gave them. They only obeyed and what happened next? This water-made-wine was drawn out to be given to the governor of the feast and the governor confirmed the 'water' to have tasted really good as the best wine ever reserved for them at the feast. BONE OF CONTENTION 1. WHY DID MARY INTERCED FOR THE HOSTS WHOSE FEAST THEY WERE IN ATTENDANCE? Ans- To save them from an open shame of not being able to cater for their invitees. 2. WHY DID THE CATERES NOT RATIONALIZE WITH JESUS WHEN HE ASKED THEM TO FILL THE POTS WITH WATER WHEN THEY ACTUALLY NEEDED WINE? Ans- Because they needed the Wine Badly or Urgently 3. WHAT MADE THE WINE AVAILABLE? Ans- The Careers' Obedience To Jesus' Instruction To Filling The Pots With Water, Even Though They Were Looking For Wine. SUMMARY 'Wine' in the above context, connotes whatever good thing that You and I desire in Life, and 'Water' on the other side, Connotes What God Wants Us To Do Through Jesus So We Can See The 'Wine' That We Are Looking For. Thus, if there be any 'Wine' that you desire of Jesus in order not to be ashamed openly in your endeavours, then you must be ready to always putting the 'Water' in the pot as Jesus commanded the caterers in John 2:7. Until you put the ' Water ' in the pot, your 'Wine' is not in view- which means, shame is inevitable. In the same vein, until You and I Obey the instructions of God through Jesus by doing whatsoever He asks us to do ( No Matter How Foolish It May Look), Our desires is not in view. Nevertheless, there are so many pots in the scriptures that are yet to be filled with 'water' for our wine to be made available...For Instances...Just to mention a few in the scriptures... POT 1 Proverbs 28:27 (KJV) Says..."He that giveth unto the poor shall not lack: but he that hideth his eyes shall have many a curse" POT 2 Proverbs 28:13 (KJV) Says... He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy. POT 3 Exodus 23:22 (KJV) Says...But if thou shalt indeed obey his voice, and do all that I speak; then I will be an enemy unto thine enemies, and an adversary unto thine adversaries. POT 4 Deuteronomy 28:1-8 (KJV) Says... And it shall come to pass, if thou shalt hearken diligently unto the voice of the LORD thy God, to observe and to do all his commandments which I command thee this day, that the LORD thy God will set thee on high above all nations of the earth: And all these blessings shall come on thee, and overtake thee, if thou shalt hearken unto the voice of the LORD thy God. Blessed shalt thou be in the city, and blessed shalt thou be in the field. Blessed shall be the fruit of thy body, and the fruit of thy ground, and the fruit of thy cattle, the increase of thy kine, and the flocks of thy sheep. Blessed shall be thy basket and thy store. Blessed shalt thou be when thou comest in, and blessed shalt thou be when thou goest out. The LORD shall cause thine enemies that rise up against thee to be smitten before thy face: they shall come out against thee one way, and flee before thee seven ways. The LORD shall command the blessing upon thee in thy storehouses, and in all that thou settest thine hand unto; and he shall bless thee in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee. POT 5 Matthew 6:25-26, 31-33 (KJV) , Jesus says, Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. POT 6 Joshua 1:8 (KJV) This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success. POT 7 Deuteronomy 29:9 (KJV) Keep therefore the words of this covenant, and do them, that ye may prosper in all that ye do. POT 8 Joshua 1:8 (KJV) This book of the law (The Bible) shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success. Thus, if only you will care to obey Jesus' commands according to scriptures, you'll have more than enough wine to enjoy! Jesus Is Lord!!!
Sorinola O. Martins
September 4, 2015 9:34am

NOTHING INTIMIDATES GOD!

YOUR MIND MIRRORS WHO YOU ARE!

YOUR MIND MIRRORS WHO YOU ARE

If you are not who you are, who else Is better qualified to be you? Please understand that you weren't mass produced.Neither are you an assembly-line product. You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted, and strategically positioned here on Earth by God, the Master Craftsman Himself. With all sense of humility, take it or you leave it, you are what your mind looks like! Your mind gives an expression of your individuality or personality. Think of it. When you get to a place and you notice a touch of excellence, it is a product of somebody's thinking. Isnt it? If you put a shallow-thinking person in a big place, he will soon make the place shallow because he can't handle it. While another man can turn a dunghill to a center of excellence, appealing to the eyes. This is the more reason why a man's life will forever be at the level of his thinking. That is, No man can act better than his thought. Please understand this once and for all, that it is the use to which you put your mind that makes the world to mind you...